some old bullshit

You Learn a Lot About Yourself on Long Runs

Far more than on short runs which are mentally easy. I guess there’s a lot of truth in that book title, ‘The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner.’ It’s mental fortitude, you know? The ability to ignore the pain, to not worry about the miles to come and just focus on the here and now. 13 miles is okay, just about, but every mile after that takes an increasing amount of strength of character. That’s what separates runners, the strength to not just give up when your body’s screaming at you to do just that. To be blunt it sorts the men from the boys.
I’ve got none of that. That fortitude. I mean, what I’ve learnt about myself during long runs is that I fucking hate doing long runs. I’m a boy. I’ve got absolutely no problem just giving up. Something really hurts? Stop doing it then! It’s common-sense.  Of course the problem is with running is you stop, what then? You gotta fucking walk home. That’s the only thing that keeps me going during long runs, the knowledge it’ll take fucking ages to walk. The crushing knowledge you’re miles from home and it’s your own fault. What were you thinking? 
I’ve done two marathons now. Not right now, over the last two years, finished them both. Why did I finish them? Because my car was at the finish. That’s the only reason. Crossing the finish line I felt none of that sense of achievement. I felt an overwhelming sense of ‘thank fuck that’s over.’ Did I enjoy it? Nope, not one part of it. Started off hard and got harder and harder until it was practically impossible. It was literally Hell.  It was a fucking stupid thing to do.
Did 15 miles this morning though, felt okay actually and it was nice because it was all cross country. We went around the coast.
Around here and stuff

Isn’t Jersey pretty? Makes England look shit. Yeah, it was nice because there was stuff to look at. For 13 miles that is! The last two miles were horrible and in a marathon there’s nothing even to look at. The marathon is next week. I am not looking forward to it. Going to try and injure myself before then.