some old bullshit

To Run or Not to Run

It’s stopped raining. Finally. That’s all day it’s rained. All day. Non-stop. So, shall I go for a run? I’m just staring out of the window. Have been for five minutes, hardly breathing. I could do 5k before it gets dark. Shall I, though? Don’t know. I’ll feel better if I do. I know that. I’m still just staring out of the window. I feel tired. Staring out of the window is making me tired. 5K’s hard. I’d have to do it hard or there’s no point doing it. I could wear my Mizuno Wave Universe. Just started wearing them again and I like them now. I didn’t like them at first. They felt kind of baggy. Yeah. I should go. Come on. My chicken’s in the oven. That’ll take forty minutes. Plenty of time. Although I put it in ten minutes ago, I’ve been staring out of the window for ten minutes. So the oven’s going to start beeping in thirty minutes. And by the time I get changed and drive to where I run from… That’s… I don’t need to go. It’s not like I need to go. I’m not going to get unfit because I don’t run for one single day. I’ve been everyday for the last few weeks. I haven’t had a day off. A day off will probably do me good but I would feel better if I went. There’s no doubt about that. You only regret the runs you don’t do, is what they say. There’s a 5K race tomorrow night. I’m going to do it so that would make up for today. A race makes up for a day of not running. But I run better if I’ve run the day before, so I should go. It is getting dark though. It’s definitely getting dark. What time does it get dark? About 7pm? It’s 6:35. What should I do. I don’t feel great. I don’t feel like I really want to go. If I did I’d just go but I haven’t just gone. I’m doing the thing where I just stare out of the window trying to decide whether or not I’m going to go. How does this normally resolve itself? Do I normally go? Time to make up my mind. Just make up your mind. I’m looking out of the window again. Ooh, my achilles is sore. I’m rolling my ankle while looking out of the window. A day off might do it good. A day off and it might stiffen up. But it might not. But it might. Come on, what am I going to do? I don’t really feel like going, truth be told. I want to go, but I don’t feel like it. It’s pretty windy. It’s not raining but it is windy. And there will be puddles. Actually it’s not that windy. That tree’s moving a bit but it’s just a breeze but it is kind of cold. What would I wear? Long sleeve top? It’s been warm lately. I’ve been wearing a vest. It’s not that cold but it’s colder than it’s been. It might rain again. No. Doesn’t look like it will. Is my Garmin charged? If it’s not charged I’m not going and if it is charged then… Let’s see. Damn. All four bars. It’s only ever low on batteries when I’m looking forward to a run. I could turn the oven off. I could go when it’s dark. Cook the chicken and then go. 6:54 now. Still not dark. Nah, I’ll go tomorrow. Yeah. I’ll do the race tomorrow. I’ll feel better. Fresher. Weather’s supposed to be nice tomorrow. So it’s decided. I’ll run tomorrow. I’ll run tomorrow. Tomorrow. After I’ve sat here all night regretting not going for a run. I’ll regret it if I don’t go. I’ll feel bad. One last look out the window. It’s pretty bright out there now. But that’s the sunset. It’s too late. Or maybe it doesn’t get dark until 7:30? I just… Fuck it, I’m going for a run.

Ha! I was just going to get changed when the oven beeped so that decided it. No running. I ate my chicken. I’m sitting here full of chicken and it looks lovely out of the window now. It’s still not dark. I don’t reckon it gets dark until 8. I should have gone. I can’t now because of all the chicken in me. Damn.