I recently had the opportunity to sit down and have a chin wag with the star of This Country in her modest house somewhere outside of London. I sat on her couch after moving some cushions.

JPB: Daisy, thanks for allowing me to have this interview with you.

DMC: You’re wel-

JPB: DMC! Your initials. DMC. Like the car.

DMC: The Delorean featured in Back to the Future?

JPB: Yeah, and its sequels. Or the band R.U.N.D.M.C!

DMC: Run DMC.

JPB: What?

DMC: It’s Run. Not R.U.N

JPB: I don’t…

DMC: The Run. It’s the word Run, they’re not initials.

JPB: Anyway, did you know that about your initials?

DMC: Yeah.

JPB: Okay, well, I fucking loved This Country. Probably my favourite English show for years.

DMC: Oh, thanks, I’m very flattered.

JPB: You should be! Because I am really discerning when it comes to comedy.

DMC: Well, okay, thanks.

JPB: I hated Little Britain when it came out. Hated it. I didn’t wait until it was considered racist. You know? It was shit and I said that from the start.

DMC: I understand.

JPB: Dom Joly, that guy’s a dick too.

DMC: I wouldn’-

JPB: Trust me, he is. I’ll show you the message he sent me.

DMC: …

JPB: So I know what I’m talking about.

DMC: Yeah.

JPB: I like Arrested Development. The first five seasons of Trailer Park Boys. The Larry Sanders Show. You know? The real creme de la creme of televisual comedy.

DMC: Yeah, I know, you have excellent taste in comedy so when you complement my show it means a lot.

JPB: Exactly!

DMC: Well, again, thanks.

JPB: You’re welcome. Now, you were in the news last week. Because of Celebrity Gogglebox?

DMC: Yeah, it was all over the news be-

JPB: Wait, sorry to talk over you, but you were in the news before that. Something about a sea captain on Instagram?

DMC: Ha! Yeah, what happened was-

JPB: Actually I don’t care about that. Go back to the Gogglebox furore.

DMC: Somebody criticized how I looked and so I posted about it and it blew up.

JPB. What did they say? Did they say, “what a fa-

DMC: That I look like a troll.

JPB: A troll?

DMC: Yeah.

JPB: What does a troll even look like?

DMC: I don’t even know.

JPB: A troll… I don’t… hey, you remember Fraggle Rock?

DMC: Of course.

JPB: Were those big hairy things trolls. The ones that ate glass tubes? Were they trolls?

DMC: Why are you asking?

JPB: Oh no, I’m just trying to… you know, get in the head of the person who called you a… you know?

DMC: No, I don’t know.

JPB: I wasn’t saying you’re… I think it’s great, you know, refreshing that you don’t care what you look like.

DMC: Excuse me?

JPB: It’s… it’s… it’s… you know? Because you… and, like Beyonce probably does care? Am I… do you understand what I’m…

DMC: No.

JPB: Like, it’s good. For… like… for women to see on TV somebody who is also a woman but… but… but… but…

DMC: But?

JPB: But… but… but.. *gestures broadly at Daisy May Cooper*

DMC: Relax! I’m just Joe Pesciing you!

JPB: Fucking hell, you had me going there!

DMC: Nah, I understand what you’re saying.

JPB: Ha, yeah, every woman is going to feel better about themselves when they see you!

DMC: What?

JPB: Good one but that won’t work twice! Anyway, Gogglebox. I don’t watch it anymore.

DMC: No?

JPB: No, used to watch the normal one. I don’t like the families in it. Apart from the… imma say Indians? Asians? Those ones. I like them. I used to like the alcoholic guest house owners.

DMC: Me too.

JPB: I do like the posh ones in the new one. Hettie? Nettie?

DMC: I forgot about them, yeah, they’re good.

JPB: I don’t like that brother and sister in the current series. He’s a bit creepy. They talk about sex. Yeah, weird. Do you have any brothers or sisters?

DMC: No, only Charlie.

JPB: Charlie?

DMC: Kurtan.

JPB: He’s your brother?

DMC: Yeah, didn’t you… it’s-

JPB: Mackenzie Crook is your brother? And he’s called Charlie?

DMC: That’s not Mackenzie Crook. It’s my brother Charlie. He plays Kur-

JPB: No. Just… just let me think.

DMC: Are you okay.

JPB: I’ll be fine, just give me a minute.

DMC: …

JPB: …

DMC: …

JPB: …

DMC: Shall I call…

JPB: No, I’m okay. I couldn’t work out how he wasn’t old.

DMC: Different people.

JPB: Yeah, I suppose. So what’s next for Daisy May Cooper. Keep it short.

DMC: Well, once lock-down is over I hope-

JPB: Nah, sorry, look, I’ve got to go. Erm. Thanks for…