some old bullshit

Dickhead Leg

My leg is being a right (left) dickhead. For an internet running resource this site sure hasn’t had many running updates lately. Why is that? Let’s ponder that for moment…

Stop pondering! You guys don’t know, you can’t know. You know nothing about me. I’m not on trial here.

Presumptuous or what? I’ll tell you why I haven’t been talking about running much and no, I’m not one of those guys. You know the guys. Think they’re into running for a while and then they just stop running. They have a couple of days off running because their legs hurt and then that’s it. They never start again even though I bet if anybody asked them their hobbies. If Michael Parkinson (have they caught him yet?) asked on TV they’d say their hobbies include running. Yeah, right, BULLSHIT! Parky would say, throwing a Parker pen at them.

Nah, I’m still running and I can prove that because there hasn’t been a big news report about me going on a rampage because, I’m telling you now, that’s how my running career is going to end. In a fucking hail of bullets. If I can’t run I’m taking a bunch of people with me.

I hurt my calf muscle a couple of weeks ago. It went during a 10k that I’d trained pretty hard for. I had 8 days off running but so that I didn’t go mental I did a fair bit of cycling during that time. Then I started running easy. The treadmill was fine. Did a bit on the treadmill but that first week my leg would start killing if I went out on the road. After two or three miles it’d be sore but the treadmill seemed to be helping. Last Sunday I did 8 miles on the road and it was okay but the day after I decided to do a harder run and that was a mistake. I was the dickhead there. After a few miles I felt the sharp stabbing in my dickhead leg. That was Monday and my leg’s been sore all week. Did a little bit on the treadmill. A little bit on the turbo trainer but it was still sore.

Reckon it’s the soleus although apparently that’s rare. Right up at the back on the inside. Attacked it with a rolling pin last night.

All week the weather’s been a bit shitty and windy so running on the road wasn’t that appealing anyway. Yesterday it was sunny so I just HAD to go out running on the road, dickhead sore leg be fucked! I took some ibuprofen and put two heel lifts in the shoe of my sore leg (left) and off I went. Since I hurt my leg, because I’ve not been tensing that calf, I’ve struggled to run at 7:30min/mile. Yesterday I was doing 6:30. It was a bit stupid of me and after 3 miles I got the sharp pain but I kept going because, you know, fuck it? What are the options? A week off? Two weeks? Can’t do that because I live one day at a time.

So yesterday it was sore. Woke up today and it was sunnier than yesterday so I had to go running. I had to try. If I only got 100 metres I only got 100 metres. I put a calf guard on and went out running. I wore sunglasses which I hardly ever do because they’re white. They’re from Boots and cost £10. At the start my leg was okay. 60% I was telling myself. Go at 60% because it was going to snap for sure if I ran harder. Just go as long as you can and when it goes we’ll deal with it, I told myself. I got past the three mile mark and the pain was okay, better than yesterday before it got sore. Didn’t make much sense. It didn’t snap at four miles either. Nor five and then I’d finished.

See, if I wasn’t mentally ill I would not have gone running. Everything my body was telling me was centred around the premise that if I went running I was going to completely fuck my leg up. It was common-sense. FUCK common-sense.  I ignored it and went and it turned out I was right and my leg was wrong. In your face, leg. Don’t ever fuck with me again.

So while I’m not a runner again, yet, today’s run has given me some hope that it’s not a far-off impossible pipe dream.

Because I wore white sunglasses I looked like this.